Biblical Hero Scandals

by Gary DeVaney

God’s Heroes and Prophets

Murderers and Liars

God’s Bible Heroes are some of the most evil, immoral, murdering, stealing, incest-oriented and lying characters in all of literature. These facts are of value only to those who are honestly interested in truth and morality. Behold the deeds of your God’s Old Testament heroes. Do you want them to be your children’s models of virtue? The first defense against lies is to open your eyes. The greatest defense against lies is to not pass them on. You cannot defeat what you defend. If evil should be the absence of good, these God-chosen characters are EVIL.

Abraham

Genesis 12:12-19 Abraham told his wife (half-sister) Sarah to lie. As a result Pharaoh said: Why did you say she is my sister so that I took her for my wife? Catholic

Abraham, God's hero, tells Sarah to lie.

Pharaoh said he took Sarah for his wife. Did Pharaoh have sex with Sarah? Believers would automatically insist no.

Unlike the KJV, the Catholic version states: I took her for my wife.

Genesis 16:1-10 Sarah gave Abraham Hagar, her handmaid, for sex and children. Abraham had intercourse with Hagar who conceived Abraham’s son, Ishmael.

So Abraham, the swinger, had sex with Sarah's servant, Hagar an Egyptian, with Sarah's consent? 

Pregnant Hagar looked with contempt on her mistress Sarah, so Sarah abused her and she left. An Angel of God said to Hagar: Go back to your mistress and submit yourself to her abusive treatment. Catholic

How can an unchanging, good God possibly approve of this? Is adultery conditional, by consent? Did Sarah, the mother of the Judeo-Christian religion abuse Hagar by female circumcision? How could a "good / loving / sensitive / moral" God send Hagar back for more abuse?

Genesis 18:22 The Lord remained standing before Abraham.

Abraham and Moses both questioned God fairness and morality and seeing God lacking, actually tried to make corrections.

In Genesis 20 Abraham and Sarah, again, pass themselves off to King Abimelech as brother and sister. The same, pimp and hook, con-job happens again. The King catches the con in time, yet, he pays off Abraham with herds, gold, and land.

Shame on both Abraham and Sarah, the father and mother of the Judeo-Christian religions!

Genesis 20:12 Abraham had married his half-sister (Sarah). They had the same father and different mothers.

Incest! Many of God's main heroes: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and his 12 tribes / sons, and later, Moses are products of or participated in incest. If the Biblical God was in control and incest was His preferred agenda to produce His heroes, how can incest be illegal today - if God can't be wrong?

Genesis 21:14 Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away.

Does this also indicate that Abraham was a "dead-beat" dad?

Genesis 22:1-12 Abraham was stopped just short of murdering his own son, Isaac - because God ordered it.

Catholic Recap: God promises Abraham, age 75, to be the father of nations. When Sarah is 76 she sends Abraham (then 86) in to have sex with Hagar, her Egyptian handmaid. Abraham consents to adultery which produces Ishmael - and about 4,000 years of war in the Middle East. Sarah hears God say that she will have a child and laughs at God’s words. She lies to God by denying it. Still, when Abraham is 100, God rewards Sarah, 90, for her role in His plan and gives her Isaac (which means laughter) whom Abraham almost sacrifices. After Isaac’s "called-off" sacrifice, never again is there any Biblical conversation between Isaac (or Sarah) and Abraham.

Some parents are horrified by this story of God’s child abuse. What is a dysfunctional family or a dysfunctional god? The Koran has scenarios whereby Abraham and Ishmael later built monuments together in Mecca.

Genesis 24:35 God gave Abraham male and female slaves.

Isn't this Chapter and Verse evidence that the "good" Biblical God condones slavery? How can it not be? As long as one Bible exists, the C&V won't go away.

Genesis 25:1-6 After Sarah died, Abraham married Keturah and had 6 more sons. He had some other kids by some concubines.

Abraham, the old stud, died at 175 years of age.

Lot

Abraham’s Nephew

Genesis 19:8 Lot offered his two virgin daughters to a sex-crazed mob.

Genesis 19:26 Lot’s wife looked back, died and turned into a pillar-of-salt.

God killed Lot's wife because she disobeyed.

Lot left his God-ordained, wife behind without another Biblical thought.

What a model of "Biblical-love" this God's hero, had for his soul-mate wife.

So much for the value of: "Marriages are made in Heaven".

(Simply, based on the over 50% divorce statistics, if "Marriages are made in Heaven", the Biblical God is screwing up a high percentage of the time.)

Genesis 19:30-36 Lot got drunk, had sex with and made both of his daughters pregnant.

What an awesome Biblical model for father-daughter love!

Could this degenerate Biblical hero and model, Lot, have influence and even encouraged righteous, God-fearing fathers, throughout history, to have sex with their virgin daughters?

"In charge" God had chosen only these 3 people to survive Sodom and Gomorra. God chose Lot, a father who had tried to give his 2 daughters for sex to a mob; a husband who abandoned his wife’s remains, then got drunk, had sex with and knocked-up both of his virgin daughters.

Do you like Lot? Do you like God’s criteria and choice? Do you like the fact that Lot impregnated both of his virgin daughters? Why or why not?

This is excellent Bible C&V evidence that:

"The God of the Bible is not a good God - and the Bible is not a good model for humanity."

Isaac

Abraham’s Son

Genesis 25:20-26 Isaac and Rebekah had twins, Jacob and Esau.

Genesis 25:28 Isaac loved (preferred) Esau. Rebekah loved (preferred) Jacob.

This Biblical model indicates that God's current favorite parents each prefer one of their children over the other. What would happen if you told your not-chosen child that you follow this Biblical model?  

Genesis 26:9-10 Isaac lied to King Abimelech saying Rebekah was his sister, tempting to sacrifice his wife’s having sex (with Abimelech), in fear, to save himself and was caught at it.

Didn’t Isaac also became very wealthy, like Abraham, as God’s second pimp?

What a Biblical model.

Jacob

AKA

Israel

Genesis 25:31-33 Jacob swindled his older brother Esau out of his birthright.

Jacob, God's hero, is described as a swindler!

Genesis 28:12-17 In a dream, Jacob saw a ladder with God’s Angels ascending and descending on it. He saw God above it Who told him that He was God and He would be with Jacob. Jacob awoke, was afraid and said: Surely, this is the Lord’s place. How dreadful is this place. This is the house of God, the gate of Heaven. KJV

Jacob described God's place as "dreadful"? What? Ouch!

Obviously, the "Angels" climbing up and down "Jacob's ladder" had no wings. Why would they climb up and down the ladder if they had wings? If they had wings, the Bible would have described them with wings in this story.

Genesis 28:22 Jacob vowed to God 10% back of what he gets from God.

Could this be the origin of paying 10% "tithes" to a church?

Genesis 29:13-14 Laban ran out to meet Jacob saying: You are indeed my flesh and blood.

Aren’t Jacob’s unions with his uncle Laban’s daughters more inbreeding and Biblical incest, as it was with Abraham and Sarah, Lot and his daughters and later, Moses’ father and mother?

Aren't many of God's Biblical heroes, so far, products of incest? Based on this Biblical model, why is incest illegal?

Mankind has judged "incest" to be wrong and illegal. Because all these God chosen heroes practiced incest, mankind has judged God's values to be wrong and illegal.

Genesis 30:39-43 Jacob cheats his uncle Laban (the father of his 2 or 4 wives) by herd selective-breeding techniques and becomes a wealthy man.

Could swindling, lying and cheating be the Biblical God’s guidance? Typically, defense attorneys rehearse their clients as to what spin and lies they will present in court.  

The Torah-notes indicate that Jacob’s 4 wives were all at least half-sisters, Laban being the father of all 4 girls. Laban was Rebekah’s brother, which makes him also Jacob’s uncle. Wouldn’t that make Jacob’s 2 wives and 2 concubines also his 4 cousins? By these 4 blood-related women, Jacob had 12 sons, who became the Biblical God’s 12 tribes of Israel. Weren’t they a stock of incest? Most of them certainly were.

Genesis 30:22-24 Rachel bore Jacob’s son, Joseph.

(Joseph goes on later to control Egypt.)

Genesis 32:24-29 Jacob wrestled a man… KJV

The Catholic version states that Jacob wrestled a MAN 5 times.

Some claim that Jacob wrestled an Angel. Some also claim that Jacob wrestled God, Himself, in this scenario. If Jacob wrestled God, that certainly reduces the "awesomeness" and strength of God.

Genesis 34: Schechem raped Jacob's daughter and then wanted to marry her. Jacob said ok but that all of Schechem’s men had to be circumcised. Then, Jacob revenged the rape of his daughter by murdering all of Schechem’s men and stole all of their wealth, flocks, women and children.

Moses

Exodus 2:12 Moses murdered an Egyptian and hid his body.

Ah, a candidate for God! Moses already proves to be a "perfect" hero just like his "perfect" God.

Exodus 4:10 Moses tells God he can’t represent Him because he is slow of speech.

Moses, God's "perfect" choice to speak for Him and to represent Him, has a speech impediment.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton: "The Bible and the Church have been the gratest stumbling blocks in the way of women's emancipation."

Did you know that God’s hero, Moses, was also a product of incest? If you had sex with your father's sister - that is incest. Incest, again, produced God's perfect choice of a perfect hero. How can God's guidance of incest dare to be illegal in the United States today?

Exodus 11:4 God murdered all the first-born Egyptian babies ...

An academic question:

Did God do all the evil things to Egypt or did Moses? No Satan nor Devil is mentioned, so, it had to be either our favorite Biblical God or just our inventive and creative con-man, Moses.

Not initially included here was "and God killed all of Egypt's first-born animals" so not to dilute the impact of God murdering all of Egypt's first-born, human babies. What did each of those first-born human babies or those first-born animals do to deserve the Biblical God's murdering them?

Exodus 24:6-8 Moses spills blood on altars and people ... 

Some of God's "perfect" heroes worship their "perfect" God in a gross and bloody manner.

Exodus 31:18 God gave Moses two tablets of stone written by the finger of God.

Exodus 32:1-5 (Meanwhile): The Israeli people asked Aaron to make a God for them. Aaron replied: Have your wives, sons and daughters take off their gold earrings and bring them to me. Aaron accepted their offerings, made them into a golden-calf, and an altar.

Exodus 32:7-14 (God goes ballistic again and said): Now Moses, don't try to stop Me when I unleash My wrath to destroy them. (Disobeying God) Moses began to plead (to make God stop): Egypt will say You took us out with evil intention, to kill us in the country, to wipe us off the face of the Earth. (God), withdraw Your anger and refrain from doing evil to Your people. Moses made God refrain from doing the evil He planned for His people.

Wow!  God ordered Moses not to stop God. Moses disobeys God - and lives. And God obeys Moses!

Ah - God will get even with Moses later.

Exodus 32:19 Moses, who just calmed down angry God, became so angry himself, that he threw down and destroyed God's finger-written sacred tablets and they broke into pieces.

Exodus 32:27-28 Moses Levi ordered all the sons of Levi to slay their own family, friends and neighbors; Moses murdered about 3,000 of their own relatives, God's Own chosen.

Moses, with God's consent, murders about 3,000 of his own "God-chosen" people.

Numbers 11:11-15 Moses said to God: Why are You treating me so badly? Don't You like me anymore? Why do You place such a burden on me? Was I the woman who was pregnant with this nation in my belly? Did I give birth to them? Where can I get enough meat to give all these people? I can't be responsible for this entire nation. It's too hard for me. If You are going to do this to me, do me a favor and kill me.

Moses whines, bitches and gripes at God and lives! God must prove to have favorites - as long as they serve Him - on His terms.

Numbers 16:28 Moses claims that he does the Lord’s work; not his own.

Hummm. "Don't judge me - I was just following orders." Could this be the beginning of a future trend? What a perfect Biblical model! The Nuremberg war-crime trials were full of this excuse.

Contrary to Christian propaganda, Adolf Hitler was a Christian (Catholic). Hitler often invoked God in his speeches to the German sheeple.

If you can get the masses to worship a false authority (God), an assumed authority (like Hitler) can easily step in. Believers are programmed and are just waiting "for a sign" to zealously serve some assumed authority.

Numbers 21:33-35 God ordered Moses to do to King Og as he had done to others. Moses struck down the King's sons and all his people until none were left and took possession of his land.

God gave His "chosen people" nothing. God ordered Moses to murder all the landowners, their wives and their children so to steal their land.

In Numbers 25:11-17 Phinehas, by murdering Kazbi (Cozbi) and Zimri, turned God’s jealous wrath away from the Israelites. God then ordered Moses to murder the Midianites.

Back in Genesis 25, Abraham married Keturah and she had 6 sons. One son was named Midian. God ordered Moses to attack and kill Midianites, Abraham's offspring. 

Numbers 31:14-18 Moses was angry at the Generals and Captains of the army and asked: Why have you kept all these women alive? Now, kill every male-child as well as every woman who has had sex with a man. But, the young girls who have not had sex with a man, you may keep alive for yourselves. God's army killed every male child and the soldiers took 32,000 girls who were still virgins for themselves.

Moses is a documented mass-murderer of women and children! In your value system, how do you like Moses? Are you afraid to judge God's chosen heroes?

Deuteronomy 2:34 Moses led more mass murdering of women and children.

Bart Floyd, a friend, said: It doesn't seem like I'm reading the Holy Bible. How could God or Moses do this? It seems more like I'm reading an Encyclopedia of mass-murders.

That is an astute and bold observation, Sir Bart Floyd.

Deuteronomy 3:2-7 (Moses said): God delivered Og and we murdered 60 cities of men, women and children until none remained. We took all the livestock and booty for ourselves.

Moses is a crazy man - and his God is even more insane. "Thou shalt not kill" is certainly not holding up. Whatcha think? The Bible makes it seem righteously justified for Moses to kill all those women and children so to steal the land that God promised His "chosen".

Deuteronomy: 32:48-52 God said: Moses, go up the mountain, look at the land I give to the children of Israel, that you wandered 40 years to get to. God said: Moses, you can't have it. Moses died.

God's promises prove to be totally conditional and not fulfilling. Neither Moses, Aaron, Miriam and none of the people over 20-years-old, who came out of Egypt, got the promised land - except Joshua and Caleb. God had killed 2-3 million of His Own "chosen people".

Deuteronomy 34:10 Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face. He had no equal in the signs and wonders the Lord sent him to perform.

Free-Murderous-Ride

Moses is a documented mass-murderer of men, women and children to fulfill God's personal agenda to steal and occupy their land. Moses' "perfect / loving / never-changing" God ordered all the mass-murdering and the theft of the land.

Is this your perfect, never-changing "God Of Love"? It's a yes or no question. If yes, maybe you too should be elected President of the United States so that the mass-murdering for "special interests" could be continued. Who could stop you?

The current US Presidents wants you to be zealously religious so that they, the assumed authority of your country, will also get a "free-murderous-ride" - just as you give a "free-murderous-ride" to your "perfect" God.

Joshua

Joshua 2:1 Joshua sends 2 spies into Jericho to lodge with a harlot, Rahab.

Rahab, the harlot, turned on her own people and city by making a deal with Joshua and the Israelites to save herself and her family.

Rahab, the Harlot, was guilty of treason to her country and to her people.

A "harlot" sells sex. Rahab was a harlot.

After the slaughter of every man, woman and child - save Rahab and her family, Rahab married Salmon, an Israelite priest, and ended up in Jesus Christ's "sacred" bloodline and lineage.

Note: Rahab was NOT a Jew / Hebrew / Israelite. Yet, Rahab, the Harlot, is in King David's and Jesus Christ's "sacred" bloodline. God had murdered many for marrying outside the "sacred" bloodline.

Joshua 6:20-21 Joshua attacks Jericho and slaughters all the men, women, babies and animals.

Joshua 7:19-25 Joshua said to A’chan: My son, give God honor by telling me what you have done. Don’t hide it from me. A’chan, an Israeli warrior confessed. All Israel stoned and burned A’chan, his innocent children and all their animals.

Joshua 8:1-2 God tells Joshua to go murder the city of A’i, to do to it’s King what they did to Jericho and its King, except you may take its spoils and livestock as booty.

Joshua 8:8 God said to Joshua: When you have taken the city, set it on fire in obedience to God’s command. These are My orders to you.

Joshua 8:24-29 (By ambush, Joshua) God murders all 12,000 men and women, the entire population of A’i and gave the Israelites their cattle and spoils. Joshua hanged their King.

Joshua 10:12-13 Joshua ordered God to stop still the Sun and Moon so he could finish murdering. God did.

Who is the boss around here, anyway? Like Moses, God, again, obeyed the orders of Joshua, a mere man.

The "clay / man", again, successfully bosses the "Potter / God".

Joshua 10:20-26 Joshua said: Put your foot on the necks of the five Kings and murder them.

Joshua 11:6-9 God ordered and Joshua hamstrung horses.

Do you like Joshua? Why? How about his Boss?

Joshua 11:10-15 Joshua captured Hazor and slew its King with the sword. He put every person to the sword until none were left alive and burned Hazor. Joshua captured all those Kings with their cities and he fulfilled (God’s) doom by putting every person there to the sword. The Israelites took all the spoils and livestock of these cities as their booty, but the people, they put to the sword, until they had exterminated the last of them, leaving none alive. Joshua left nothing undone that God commanded Moses should be done.

Joshua and Caleb were the only two leaders that God allowed to enter "The Promised Land". The other 2-3 million "chosen" had to die.

God fulfilled His promise of "The Promised Land" to Joshua and Caleb. God failed to fulfill His promise of "The Promised Land" to 2-3 million others of His sacred "chosen". What a God! 

Spiritual: For most believers, what they define as “spiritual” is their desire to experience an alternative, hopeful reality, focusing on anything other than their unfulfilled, here and now, reality. Drugs, for many believers on drugs, amount to a spiritual experience. Booze, drugs and religion are vehicles for people who emotionally want to be someplace else. Believers use religion, drugs and booze as an escape from reality. Denial is automatic.

Did you ever notice that in history books, God is never a contributing character in historical scenarios? Man has often used God in his persuasion, motivation, and excuses for his own behavior, for his good fortune or bad luck. Religions and other supernatural voodoos are the prime vehicles for any God manifestations.

Scenario / Parable

There was once a 13-year-old little girl who cried because her daddy had to go to war. She cried: My daddy has to go away but he’ll return most any day; any moment I may see my daddy coming back to me. For months she cried daily: Oh daddy, wherever you are, I’m thinking of you and I know you’re thinking of me! Shirley Temple

Jephthah

Judges 11:1 Jephthah was born of a hooker.

Ah, another prime candidate to be one of God's Biblical heroes.

Judges 11:30-39 Jephthah vowed to God: Give me victory and I will give to You, by burnt offering, whatever comes first through my door. Jephthah murdered 20 cities for God. (Always in control) God apparently arranged for Jephthah’s daughter, his only child, to come first through his door, who was happy to see her father. Jephthah gave his little girl two months to “mourn her virginity” because she couldn’t bear children before she had to die. He then sacrificed his only child, a virgin daughter by burnt offering to your Biblical God, as was the custom in Israel. KJV

What a prime Biblical model of this insane God and His insane followers. How insane are you or will you be for this God?

Judges 12:6-7 Jephthah murdered 42,000 Ephraimites and judged Israel for 6 years.

Weren’t the Ephraimites Joseph’s tribe? In law, the elements of crime are means, motive and opportunity. The law is civilized man’s attempt to model safety and decency. Can you compliment this God on any decency or fair treatment based on His deeds? Is there any Biblical, chapter and verse, evidence? Can you produce it? Please do so and make history. 

Believers tend to run from this material due to a fear of God (fear of death or loss) that over comes them. Courage is having the capacity to face what you fear. Believers cannot learn for they have little courage concerning change or facing facts. Believers don’t expect to debate the Bible. They tend to preach it. They don’t even expect to argue its content. They expect obedience and feel-good cooperation to their own egos.

Samson

Judges 13:24 The woman (Hannah) bore Samson and God blessed him.

Judges 14:1-4 Samson wanted a Philistine wife, outside of his religion, to give his God an opportunity to murder them (the Philistines).

Judges 14:6-9 Without weapons, Samson tore a lion to pieces. Later, he ate honey from the lion’s dead carcass.

Oh puke!

Judges 14:11-20 Samson bet 30 men 30 tunics to solve a riddle. The spirit of God came upon Samson and he murdered 30 men so to steal their clothes so to pay off a gambling debt. Samson’s wife, who had just married him, made him lose the bet; then, she proceeded to marry Samson’s best man.

The spirit of God did what? Samson bet 30 men 30 tunics that they could not answer his riddle. He told his future wife the answer to his riddle. She told the men and Samson lost the bet. The spirit of God came upon Samson and he went to the city and murdered 30 men and stole their tunics so to pay off his debt. Do you get the impact of this story? The spirit of God had Samson murder 30 innocent men and steal their tunics to pay off a debt. Pretend that I redundantly pointed this out 10 or 20 more times. I can't be more angry with this God or His stupid, murderous Samson.

Judges 15:4-5 Samson caught 300 foxes, tied their tails together, set them afire and they burned the country